The PFLAG National Blog

I have another guest blogger today on the heels of the exciting news from the California Supreme Court. Tod Frank is a member of our Southern Orange County chapter. He and his husband, Craig, were married in San Francisco only one hour before the marriages were stopped, on March 11, 2004! Tod shares with us his views on this day…

“I was elated when I read the news on the internet that the California Supreme Court had overturned the law banning same-sex marriage. My husband, Craig, and I were one of 4,000 couples married in San Francisco in 2004. It was a special occasion, but very rushed and we didn’t even know if any family or friends would be able to attend. It turns out that my folks, Craig’s dad, my sister, a niece and two very dear friends did witness our vows. And an hour later, all marriages were stopped by court order. Three months later, our marriage was declared void.

Now it looks like we have the time to choose a date and plan it the way we would have the first time. We have time to include all the friends and family that we couldn’t before and to plan a proper celebration. This time, perhaps, we’ll wait to see the results of the proposed ballot initiative to change the California constitution to add a ban. So, this victory is bittersweet. I’m glad we had the victory, but I won’t feel safe until we get out from under the black cloud of the proposed ban. We’ve been together for nearly 15 years, so maybe we don’t have to rush.

So the question is, should we get married again now with the chance that it won’t be real again? I remember how that felt and don’t relish going through that again. Or, should we wait until the threat of overturning this victory has diminished?

I want to feel like a full citizen of this country, with all the same rights and responsibilities. I want to not only have the same rights, but to use the same word, marriage, not domestic partnership. I want my marriage to be recognized in every state and by the federal government. I believe DOMA [”Defense of Marriage Act”] was unconstitutional and I want to start fighting that fight. I don’t know why it hasn’t already started with the couples from Massachusetts, but once we get married, I want to be part of bringing down DOMA.

I may never feel completely safe being openly gay, but it makes a difference knowing that, so far, the law is coming down on our side, that we’re winning major battles. Being recognized by the government as a family brings a security that cannot be measured in counting the benefits and responsibilities. I hope it brings a sense of belonging to this country and to this society that I’ve never really felt.”

We won!

The California Supreme Court has ruled in favor of marriage equality this afternoon! While we still have the specter of the upcoming anti-equality ballot in November for Californians, for now it seems the path is cleared for marriage in the Golden State!

Molleen Matsumura (who is quoted in our press release) and her husband Ken Matsumura have a guest entry today to share their thoughts about this historic ruling. Their daughter Elly married her wife Janelle (pictured: at left- Elly Matsumura, right- Janelle Ishida) back when the city of San Francisco was issuing marriage licenses, before the marriages were halted.

Ken says, “The affirmation of my daughter’s marriage is the best birthday present a father can get.

You know, in the 60’s, to test the sincerity of the liberal whites advocating racial equality, they asked, “…but would you want your daughter to marry one?” For me, when my daughter married Janelle, I was the happiest man in the world. I will forever be indebted to Mayor Gavin Newsom for his compassionate and courageous gift. This was a no-brainer. The California Constitution bars discrimination. The marriage ban was discrimination.”

Molleen adds, “The day that my daughter married was a dream come true , and now the dream has been brought back to life. But I know the story isn’t over, and I will keep working with other loving parents and friends until the dream comes true for all our LGBT children everywhere.”

Our friends at Equality California are inviting PFLAG supporters to join them later today, following the California Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage, as they gather to mark this historic day. 

Bakersfield
5pm | LIberty Bell at corner of Truxton and Chester
More Information:  Contact Whitney at 661.204.3180

Concord
7pm | Rainbow Community Center, 3024 Willow Pass Road, Suite 200
More Information: Contact Leslie Stewart at 925.765.6064

Los Angeles
7pm At the intersection of San Vincente and Santa Monica Boulevards
More Information: Contact Jason Howe with Lambda Legal at 213.382.7600 x247

Palm Springs
5pm | Palm Springs City Hall front steps, 3200 East Tahquitz Canyon Way
More Information: Contact Ted Jackson with Equality California, 805.617.9239

Sacramento
7pm | Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Center
More Information: Contact Ali Bay With Equality California, at 916.284.9187

San Diego
6pm | San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre Street
More Information: Contact Fernando Lopez at 619.861.7939

San Francisco
5pm | San Francisco LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market Street, corner of Market and Octavia
More Information: Contact: Contact Oberto Ordenana at 415.865.5665

San Jose
6pm | Santa Clara County Building, 70 West Hedding Street
More Information: Contact Leslie Bulbuk of BAYMEC at 408.592.7315

San Luis Obispo
5pm | San Luis Obispo Courthouse Steps
More Information: Contact Lorelei Monet at 805.541.4252

San Rafael
5:30pm | At the corner of Third and Irwin Streets
More Information: Contact Dolores at 415.497.6469

Ukiah
5:30pm | Ukiah Brewing Company, 102 State Street
More Information: Contact Theresa SookneMizell at 707.354.4218
Jennifer SookneMizell at 707.354-4219
Jody Johnson at 707.489.6082

Ventura
12 Noon | Ventura County Government Center, 800 Victoria Avenue
More Information: Micah D. David with COLOR, at 805.760.3132

As California - and the country - eagerly await tomorrow’s California Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality, PFLAG parents are preparing to respond to the court’s decision here at the PFLAG blog.

Beginning Thursday afternoon, we’ll have reaction from parents in California whose children were married, in 2004, when San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses for same-sex couples.  They’ll speak out, right here, about their families’ stories, their commitment to securing marriage equality for GLBT Americans and their feelings about the court’s ruling.

So come back tomorrow, as PFLAG parents blog about the news from California and share their unique family stories.  And be part of the conversation by sharing your own stories, reactions and news in the comments section.

Our former National PFLAG President, Sam Thoron, is making an appeal for help in fighting the upcoming anti-marriage equality amendment that will happen in California this fall. You can help by donating to our special fund to fight for marriage equality in California!

“Tomorrow morning, the California state Supreme Court will release a landmark decision that could finally allow same-sex couples to marry. We may well become the second state in the nation to recognize full marriage equality for our gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender loved ones. As we await this decision we are most excited and extremely hopeful. But we also know that, however the decision comes down, we have another crucial battle ahead of us.

The forces of the far-right have placed an anti-gay initiative on the November ballot to amend the California state Constitution. If passed, this amendment will permanently prohibit recognition of same-sex marriage in California. This would roll back any favorable decision by the state Supreme Court and imbed discrimination in our state Constitution.

Defeating this initiative will be a tough - and expensive - fight. We will need all the help we can get, both grassroots people power and money, wherever we can find it. The proponents have already spent over $2,000,000 just to qualify this measure for the ballot, much of the funding coming from outside our state.

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We’ve just received word that the California Supreme Court will rule tomorrow on full marriage equality for same-sex couples in the golden state.  The court’s long-awaited decision will be announced at 10am PST (1pm on the east coast) and could make California the second state in the country to legalize marriage and move equality forward.

Stay tuned here at the PFLAG blog for more information, and check back later today for a message from PFLAG national board member Sam Thoron about how PFLAG’ers can help battle discrimination and support California couples.

Right here in Washington, D.C.’s backyard, Montgomery County, Maryland, has been the focus of a nasty and divisive battle over transgender protections. PFLAG National welcomes our new Field and Policy Manager, Rhodes Perry - and here at his first week with us at the National office he offers up some thoughts about the sad actions of some extremists to get a ballot measure to remove trans people from legal protections. No one’s civil rights should be put to the popular vote, yet we see this happening to GLBT people left and right. Read on, and if you live in Montgomery County, get active! See how you can below…

“Recently, Montgomery County, MD amended their non-discrimination law to include protections for gender identity, which effectively bans discrimination on the basis of gender identity in housing, employment, public accommodations, and taxi and cable services. The measure, passed unanimously by the Montgomery County Council late last year and was signed into law by County Executive Isaiah Legget.

The law was to take effect on February 21, but right wing extremist groups such as the coyly veiled “Citizens for Responsible Government,” have successfully qualified a ballot measure to repeal the law and once again make discrimination against transgender and gender diverse residents of Montgomery County legal.

This move contradicts what is known about the residents from Montgomery County. According to Basic Rights Montgomery “the County is one of the most diverse in the country and is a bright example of how Marylanders of different races, religions, ages, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation and gender identities can get along and work together to create a welcoming community where every person has a fair shake for basic rights like putting a roof over their head and finding a job that supports them and their family.”

Montgomery County is not alone in their action to protect transgender and gender diverse people. The County is among 100 other jurisdictions around the country that have adopted anti-discrimination laws that include gender identity and gender expression including Washington, DC, which has the country’s most comprehensive anti-discrimination protections.

This is the Nation’s first anti-transgender ballot measure and will have national implications for trans equality. As Congress is considering the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), the results of a trans-specific ballot-measure in the DC-Metro Area could have far-reaching consequences. The results of this vote could establish a precedent and open a Pandora’s box of anti-trans ballot measures across the country.

In an effort to battle these right wing extremists, Equality Maryland has hired an attorney to make the case that many of these signatures are invalid, and that the law should not be included on the November ballot. Basic Rights Montgomery is also about to launch a campaign to defeat this ballot measure, and they are in need of volunteers. If you live in Maryland, especially Montgomery County, please consider donating some of your time for the Volunteer for Equality Phone Banks to help raise the necessary money to defeat this ballot measure. You can find more information regarding this campaign here: http://basicrightsmontgomery.org/volunteer.html.”

Phyllis Schlafly spoke out this morning, on the letters to the editor page of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, about the controvery surrounding the honorary doctorate she’s scheduled to receive at Friday’s commencement ceremony.

“Let’s set the record straight about how eager I am for women to go to college,” Schlafly wrote to the paper.  “I worked my way through Washington University, paying all my own expenses (without any college, government or family aid). I worked a blue-collar, 48-hour-a-week job on the night shift (midnight to 8 a.m. or 4 p.m. to midnight), firing machine guns and rifles to test .30 and .50 caliber ammunition so I could attend college in the morning. I graduated in three years with final honors, Phi Beta Kappa and Pi Sigma Alpha.  I then received a master’s degree from Harvard University when I was only 20 years old.  . . .  Can any of the whining protesting feminists match that?”

Well yes, actually, they can.  And 14 of them, to be exact, already have.

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This continues to infuriate me: several weeks ago I blogged about how some voices are claiming Lawrence “Larry” King’s shooting is the consequence of his own gender non-conformity.

Well, last week, the Los Angeles Times covered the arraignment of the accused shooter. And sadly but not surprisingly it appears his lawyer is advancing a sort of “gay panic defense.” Somehow it’s the school administration’s fault for allowing Larry to express himself.

“…administrators were so intent on nurturing King as he explored his sexuality, allowing him to come to school wearing feminine makeup and accessories, that they downplayed the turmoil that his behavior was causing on campus, [Deputy Public Defender William Quest] said.”

So let’s get this straight: it’s a perfectly understandable reaction for a kid to bring a gun to school and murder someone simply for not conforming to gender and sexual norms? And that the school shouldn’t have allowed Larry to be himself in deference to students like the accused shooter?

I’m sorry, but I think it’s plainly clear that if any students need protecting, it’s GLBT students who are bullied at disproportionately high rates in middle and high schools. It’s a tired and dated argument that students need shielding from non-heterosexual and non-gender conforming students, or that violence or name-calling is an “OK” response when confronting with GLBT students. I will be following this case, so stay tuned! Read the article in question here.

On Sunday night, ABC’s hit drama Brothers & Sisters took one big step into history with network television’s first same-sex wedding between two series regulars. 

Sunday’s episode - which included one character’s lament that not all parents can be as accepting as PFLAG parents - may be the most talked about GLBT television moment since Ellen DeGeneres came out in primetime.  And this morning, The Daily Herald talks to PFLAG members in the Chicago area about their reactions to the Brothers & Sisters vows.

“It was amazing, because 11 years ago, people gathered in their room to watch ‘Ellen,’ and all she did was accidentally turn around and say, ‘I’m gay’ in front of a microphone,” Barbara Schon-Lundberg, editor of the suburban newsletter for PFLAG, tells columnist Burt Constable. “And now, they were kissing and there wasn’t an uproar. … They had a wedding, and it was so beautiful. There were so many things that just touched my heart.”

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